Officials for Berks County Sports v Cookham Dean
Saturday 20 March RFL Senior Division

M. WHITE
T. DUNNINGS
A. DUMITRESCU

Cookham Dean's two Saturday sides and guests will play a special mid summer challenge match on June 12 - ahead of Englands World Cup clash with the USA.
The match will kick off at 4pm and will be followed by a BBQ with of course live World Cup Football on the Clubhouse TV

The Berks and Bucks have extended the season for leagues to catch up fixtures until the second week of May barring anymore postponments.
This could mean fixtures on Saturday 1st May and Saturday 8th May

Saturday 15 th May is FA Cup Final day

Raise money for Cookham Dean Football Club whenever you shop online!
Make this site your home for online shopping and you can generate funds for Cookham Dean Football Club every time you buy something. Plus you'll benefit from the great deals and special offers to be found on this site!

HAVE YOU COMPLETED A PLAYER PROFILE FORM FOR THE WEB SITE ?

DOWNLOAD ONE FROM THE TEAM DOCUMENTS PAGE AND SEND IT TO

cookhamdeanfc@aol.com or through the web site www.cookhamdeanfc.co.uk

1)One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.
2)When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse:"Church Of England."
3) On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.
4) On first meeting with Lazio's president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Russ Abbot.
5) Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with footage of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing 'f***ing w***ker.' Broadcasters across the world had to use it all the way through the tournament.
6) Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.
7) Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. F**k off, Norway." Then ran off laughing.
8) Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his sock.
9) When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined £39,000.
10) Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.
11) After paying for ex-wife Sheryl's breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to 'Dolly Parton.'
12) Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver said yes, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza's impromptu performance.
13) Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.
14) Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.
15) Has taken the P**S out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.
16) Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.
17) While attempting to deflect the 'kebab controversy' which spelled the beginning of the end of his England career, assured reporters that his doner-munching antics following Middlesbrough's promotion to the Premiership would in no way affect his fitness before France 98. One reporter asked: "What do you feel like now?" Back came the inevitable response: "I feel like a kebab with onions."
18) As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.
19) As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the Newcastle Underground.
20) When playing for England against Belgium in Italia 90, ridiculed Enzo Scifo as he lay on the ground clutching his leg. Gazza thought he was play-acting, so did a mime of his own which involved hopping on one leg with his tongue rolling out.
21) His attempt to jet off to Libya with Middlesbrough for a post-season tour was hampered by the fact he'd left his passport at home. An emotional Gazza wept at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to bring it to the airport.
22) Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic B***S and stomach bearing the legend 'Gazza.'
23) On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.
24) Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat S**T.
25) Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen wearing nothing but his training socks and ordered lunch.
26) Paid £320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.
27) Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.
28) Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.
29) Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused £310,000 worth of damage.
30) While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping team-mate Richard Gough.
31) Handed £1,000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn't withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds. Jimmy could. Twice!
32) After briefly giving up drinking, was advised to find a new interest.Picked bingo.
33) Bought a £1,000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza Towers and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."
34) Was banned from Liverpool's Cream nightclub in advance within days of joining Everton because the Evertonians who run the place wanted him to avoid temptation and stay fit.
35) Prepared for England matches during that hugely important tournament by playing marathon games of tennis in the scorching midday sun.
36) Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the1991 FA Cup Final.
37) In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for photo opportunities.
38) While his Italia 90 team-mate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barber shop and demanded "a Waddle cut."
39) When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, "We'd like to thank you for the best three days of our lives."
40) Was asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London afte requests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.
41) On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.
42) Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you f***ing w***ers."
43) Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.
44) Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn't ever bear to see the numbers 4 and 9 together. Oddly, the combination of 5 and 8 was deemed OK.
45) Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh."
46) While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.
47) While his reputation preceded him in Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: 'Gazza's Boys, We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer.'
48) Conversely, rival Italian supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: 'Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta.'
49) After being sent off while playing for Lazio, shook hands with virtually every member of the Genoa side.
50) While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!" Genius!!!!

TRAINING RETURNS TO THE ALFRED MAJOR REC ON THURSDAY 28 JANUARY under the Floodlights

7pm meet for 7.30 start

We all know that one of the downsides to playing Football is picking up injuries. You cannot do yourself justice on the pitch if you have a knock or even worse you miss playing the game altogether if you have a bad one.
We have added some useful notes on the subject on one of the sites
new sections "team Documents".
The reason for doing it is I know how stubborn some players can be about seeking treatment, and it is to the benefit of the club that we help our players get over physical problems as soon as we can.

Both Sandhurst Devels and Royal Mail have designs on the Reading League Senior Title in the coming season and you can keep up to date on these and other local sports news by clicking on

http://www.getreading.co.uk/sport/football/goalpost/

THE WEB SITE IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEWS & EVENTS CONCERNING THE FIRST TEAM SQUAD.
IF YOU HAVE ANY THING TO REPORT PLEASE GET IN TOUCH AND WE WILL DISPLAY YOUR ARTICLES HERE.

NEWS
FIRST TEAM TRAINING GETS UNDER WAY ON TUESDAY 14TH JULY

The first Senior friendly takes place on Saturday August 1st when the First team entertain Penn & Tylers at 3pm

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PRE SEASON FRIENDLIES

Saturday 1st August 2009 ( First Team )
Cookham Dean v Penn & Tylers Home
Referee: Martin Olver
Kick Off 3pm

Saturday 8th August 2009 ( First Team )
TBA
Kick Off 3pm

Saturday 15th August 2009
Cookham Dean v AC Marlow
Kick Off 3pm

Saturday 22nd August 2009
Cookham Dean v Waltham
3pm Kick Off
*Waltham arranging Referee

Saturday 29th August
Cookham Dean v Maidenhead Town
3pm Kick Off

*Mid week kick offs 6.30pm / Can be still be arranged if required

Contact us through this Web Site
or cookhamdeanfc@aol.com

FOOTBALL BANTER ( More Updates have arrived)

GEORGE BEST in 1969 I gave up women and alcohol,
....................................it was the worst 20 minutes of my life

DAVID BECKHAM on his career:
'My parents have been there for me since I was about seven'

BOBBY ROBSON giving a post match interview: 'We didn't underestimate them, they were just a lot better than we thought'

HARRY REDKNAPP said on Sky Sports: At West Ham we had three World Cup Winners in our team, plus Billy Bonds and Trevor Brooking, and yet we didn't win anything ………………………………..Christ, the rest of us must have been C**P !

IAN WRIGHT'S last words to his nephew before he crashed his Ferrari were ………………………………………"Watch this"


FRANK WORTHINGTON once scored an amazing goal using skills and trickery, as with his back to goal and his marker, he did keepy uppeys before flipping the ball over his, and the defenders head, before turning and volleying home during the Bolton v Ipswich game.
Frank could not resist the urge to run back to his marker, defender Terry Butcher and pointing up to the main stand Frank said, “You would have got a better view of that from up there” !

TONY ADAMS after he was arrested for crashing his car into someone's front garden said,.................................................
'I wasn't drunk, I was just trying to move the wall back ten yards' !

SEBASTION COE fronted the successful bid for Britain to host the 2012 Olympics but before that he was a great runner. The Athlete won Gold in the 1500 metres in both 1980 and 1984.

His Story: Chelsea played a game at Oxford United in the eighties and as a fan Coe arrived at Oxfords main stand with his Chelsea scarf around his neck, only for the gate man to say,' Chelsea fans go on the other side of the ground', 'but I'm Seb Coe ' said the athlete, 'Well, it won't take you long to get there then' ! said the gate man.


DO YOU HAVE A ANICDOTE, JOKE OR STORY TO SHARE WITH US ?

CONTACT US THROUGH THE SITE AND SHARE YOUR FOOTBALL BANTER WITH CDFC ON-LINE

THE HOME OF FOOTBALL

THE AFLFRED MAJOR RECREATION GROUND
On the 8th Nov 2008 Martin Shearn of the RFL Grounds Sub Committee measured Cookham’s pitch and the measurements were 92.5 m x 70.5 m

As a reminder, the rules regarding are as follows:-

The Referee’s role is to inspect footwear and jewellery before each and every match.

Match Officials are reminded that Law 4 states: "A player must not use equipment or wear anything which is dangerous to himself or another player, including any kind of jewellery."

All jewellery, including plain wedding rings, must be removed. The Referee’s decision is final and players in contravention of this Law must not be allowed to enter the field of play.

Match Officials are also to incorporate a footwear inspection into the pre-match safety check of players’ equipment. This will take place before entry to the field of play immediately prior to the game.

Cookham Dean Football Club are on the look out for a Physio to join the First Team staff. Duties would include attending to players injuries on matchdays and advising on dietry and fitness issues throughout the club as a whole.
The position is unpaid and would suit someone who is training in this field or somebody who would like to get involved in the environment of a local football club.

Important message to all clubs, players and spectators


It is disappointing to advise that clubs within the Reading Football League continue to
abuse match officials to the extent that a number have since decided to leave refereeing on our League.
If this continues we will not be able to cover all matches with Official Referees

DO YOU WANT REGULAR REFEREES ?
REMEMBER ABUSE A REF - WE LOSE A REF

WELCOME to the Reading Evening Post’s ground-breaking Local Soccer forum.

Each weekend hundreds of players turn out for teams across the area.

And this is your chance to have your say on the local soccer scene.

Whether you play in the Combined Counties or Hellenic Leagues, or in Division 4 of the Reading Sunday League, this is your forum.

We will endeavour to bring you new stories, features, interviews and results.

And you can contribute yourself, either by writing on the forum or by letting us know of all the news from your club.

The Local Soccer forum will be split into three sections – senior non-league, Reading Football League and the Reading Sunday League.

To have your say, simply register on the site and you will be up and running.

The forum has been put together by the Evening Post’s internet wizard Tom Canning, who also writes a twice-weekly non-league column.

Stuart White, a news sub-editor and well-known in local soccer circles for his goalscoring exploits with such teams as Peppard, Reading Town, Reading Irish, Henley Town, Highmoor/Ibis and Berks County Sports, is eager to hear from you.

Stuart will be contributing features and interviews from around the town, as well as giving his unique insight into the local soccer scene.

Sports writers Adam Lee, who plays in goal for Bracknell Sunday League side Keltar Old Boys, and Ralph Webb will also have their say.

This is the first time an independent local soccer forum has been set up in the area, and it gives all clubs the chance to indulge in friendly banter with their rivals.

The forum will be monitored, so let’s keep it clean – any libellous or offensive material will be deleted and the writer banned from the site.

We are sure this will prove a sure-fire hit and look forward to hearing all your news and views.



LATEST STORIES ON www.getreading.co.uk/goalpost



Madden strikes again despite crash (11/02/08)


Penalty hero's lucky cap (11/02/08)

Spence strike keeps Town out of danger (11/02/08)

Fiery Robinson's future in doubt at Scours Lane (11/02/08)

League stalwarts going continental (11/02/08)


LINK TO US

We will be creating a directory of teams on www.getreading.co.uk/goalpost, to get your team on the list, all you have to do is create a link to us and let us know.

We'll be happy to add you to our database.

Radio Berkshire
read all of the results out for the Reading League at 5.45pm on Saturdays on 104.1 or 104.4 fm

or listen over the internet
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/berkshire.shtml